beanside: (Default)
[personal profile] beanside
And now we come to this week's subject line bonanza for the week. And, it's going to be Ghost!



Jess (as always) introduced me to their music, and it quickly took hold. Now I can sing along with a lot of their songs. And indeed, in just two and a half months, we're going to see them in concert. They're a Swedish band that sings about normal things like love and death and Satan. They're very theatrical and over the top, and their music has that good good mix of metal and 80's hair band. Rocking, but oddly melodic songs about some weird shit. And there are church organ solos. So, this week I'll definitely be posting their videos, because more people need to know about them.

Yesterday was so much fun! I started out with work, which actually was a bit annoying. I did the stuff I needed to, but also ended up jumping on the phones pretty regularly, because one of my coworkers disappeared for like an hour and the phones were moderately busy. I took 9 calls, which for a Saturday is about normal.

After that, I ran down and got soup dumplings, which were excellent, and then came back and got ready to play. The first game was the one set in ancient Greece, which was a lot of fun. The party got a bit beaten up by some skeletons, and then headed into the necropolis. They sweet talked their way past the guardian, and now are checking out the tombs. When we ended, they had just stumbled onto an Iron Golem. They're third level! That golem has 210 hit points, and can do enough damage to instakill all of them. I'm seriously hoping they run away, but we'll see! They weren't supposed to get past the guardian, but the Sorcerer rolled a ridiculously high persuasion check.

Then, we had a little break, which was stressful, but turned out okay. So our dog is a little fuckface who never met a person or other dog he wouldn't bark at like fucking Cujo. Mind you, when he gets up close, he just sniffs and dances, but it's daunting, especially after the trauma of Tucker, who was all bark *and* all bite.

So we headed out on a walk, and as we're heading down the walkway, a kid comes out from the apartment below us to play with his ball. Right in front of our apartment. So, we take him on his walk, and wave to the little girl in the upstairs apartment who likes to howl with Yoda. She adores him, and when he barks, she loves it. So he barked hello, she was thrilled.

Then, we wait for the kid to go in. And wait. And wait. Finally, I said I'd take the leash and get him in. And I pulled out the treats. And don't you know it, it worked. He was so focused on the treats that he practically danced past the kid with nary a bark. The kid probably thought we were insane, but for all intents and purposes, it looked like we had a functional dog!

Then, we had Monster of the Week, which is always so much fun. This was a continuation of an earlier game, and honestly, I love everyone in this bar. It's hilarious to me, because when we started, nearly 5 years ago, the characters were very, very protective of their humanity and morals. Because they were fighting against the monsters. Five years later, they're the knights of the Summer Court of fae, having shucked some of their humanity. Now, I've put the choice before them to stop a war between the Summer and Winter Courts and the Courts of Air and Darkness and Water and Light that will inevitably spill into the human world. To do it, they're going to have to become less human, and it has been super fun role playing that. Also, they used to have hour long discussions about murder, and now their shoving guns in normal mortal's faces like no one's business.

We haven't gotten to the point where they have to make the choice, but it's coming in the next session.

Today, I shall go to lunch with my friend, and then come home and figure out something for dinner.

For now though, I may take a quick shower. Everyone have an outstanding Sunday!

How many shadows are left to name?

Apr. 12th, 2025 05:45 pm
musesfool: a loaf of bread (staff of life)
[personal profile] musesfool
Today's poem:

NASA Video Transmission Picked Up By Baby Monitor

Instead of her little one nestled between the purple
elephant from Aunt Meg and the blanket knitted
by Tricia, the new mother glances up to see a space
station—tattooed by a meteorite—
now plummeting toward Hamtramck, Michigan.

Maybe she feels the same terror I felt when I sat
in a theater as a child. A man in a black tuxedo
staggered across the stage, removed his gloves
and tossed them into the audience, gloves as black
as piano keys that shrieked above us, became
two fuming ravens that flapped around the room
and circled the chandeliers. Plato says
we live in a cave and stare at a wall of shadows
cast by the light outside. We name the shapes
and believe them real. Turn around and the sun
blackens the pupil. I've known people, afraid of the sun,
who opened their eyes to God, but found only
a wine cellar lit by a guttering lamp. There's so much
to be afraid of, so much to gaze at and be wrong about.

How many shadows are left to name? Logophobia
is the fear of words. Keraunothnetophobia
is the fear of falling man-made satellites. Imagine
how a woman might walk out and look to heaven
for the sky lab plunging down on her—
wires everywhere, bolts loosening, metal body in flames.
But, she sees only blue, endless blue, the color
of a baby's new blanket, cloaking everything.

--Matthew Olzmann

***

As I may have mentioned, I love pretzel rolls, so I decided to take a stab at this recipe since her peasant bread recipe is so easy, and the rolls are good! (pics) But the timing is so weird. First of all, using cold water instead of warm is odd, and I guess contributes to the EIGHT TO TEN HOUR first prove. On the counter, not in the fridge. I mixed up the dough last night around 10 pm, and set my alarm for 8 am so I would be up in time to set it up for the second rise, which takes FOUR TO FIVE HOURS. (then I went back to bed for a couple of hours.)

I'm not sure why I think the timing is so weird - I guess a 12 hour/overnight proof in the fridge would make sense and also be fine timing-wise - you could do it at 9 pm and get up at 9 am without worrying, because the fridge is going to inhibit the rise enough that it won't overprove. But 8 to 10 hours means starting at 8 am means you don't start the second rise until 4pm and then they have to prove for another 4 hours at least? I guess it's meant for people who get up earlier than me. Idk.

Otherwise it was easy enough, except for getting the dough balls neatly out of the tray and into the water, so I couldn't keep them the nicely round shapes. Since they're just for me, and like the recipe author's kids, I can't be bothered to make sandwiches when I can eat them on their own or with butter, I don't really care, but it would be nice for once if something I made looked as good as it tasted. *hands* I'll probably go back to the King Arthur recipe I've used previously, though - it takes much less rising time.

One thing I will recommend, if you are someone who makes a lot of bread but doesn't always use a mixer, is a dough whisk. I'm not a huge fan of single-use kitchen gadgets, but I find this weird-looking thing really good for mixing up dough and getting it to come together without having to use the mixer or my hands.

***
beanside: (Default)
[personal profile] beanside
It's Saturday! I have a busy day. Work til noon, then a game from 2-5 and then another from 7-10pm. It's going to be fun, but come 10pm, I'm going to fall over into bed.

Yesterday was a less than thrilling day. Work was fine, albeit busy. I had a lot of extra people to call and slots to fill. Weirdly, the person who usually calls people was in, but I guess I have a better chance of getting people? And she doesn't do the appointment shuffle that I'll do. Like Cardiac CTs. One opened in Bethesda, but I had a patient who needed one in Towson or White Marsh. So I looked at White Marsh and Towson, and found a patient who was driving up from Bethesda (because otherwise, Bethesda is in July for these appts, and White Marsh and Towson are in May. And I called him, and moved him into the opening, then moved my other patient into the slot I'd just created. I don't think the other woman does that.

The less thrilling part was that Jess went for their follow up mammogram, and had a shiny new calcification in their breast that is going to require a biopsy, which they couldn't schedule until 5/9. It's most likely benign, given size, but they want to make sure, so that's going to be fun. It's like their boobs know somehow that they're going to be yeeted, and are trying to cause the utmost of trouble before then.

Tomorrow, I'm meeting a friend for lunch, which will be nice. Also debating going down to the Baltimore Farmer's market downtown to see if there's any good produce. I'm not sure I'll have enough energy for it, but we'll see. I'd really like to get a few things, so I might stir myself. Maybe some turnips and some greenhouse veggies. Maybe even a thing of sausage for Sunday dinner, since I probably won't have time to do Brunch with going out. We'll see.

Okay, time to do some prep work for the game, and get ready for work. Everyone have an amazing Saturday!
musesfool: nightwing (do not confuse yourself w/yr reflection)
[personal profile] musesfool
Still processing the season finale of The Pitt (it was SO GOOD) so thoughts to come at some later date.

Here's today's poem:

Goodnight
by Li-Young Lee

You've stopped whispering
and are asleep. I go on listening

to apples drop in the grass
beyond the window. Earlier we tried to guess

each fall's moment, but neither kept up
that little game of hope

or fear for long. Now your weight
against me is like … I was about to say

like no other, unmistakably
human, my son's. But, truth is, you're simply

heft. Burden like, say, grain,
your body brings my body pain,

your shoulders, knees, elbows, hands,
lumpy like sacked fruit, and

whatever concord is
actual between us is

not easily meant,
but is so only by our diligence.

I recall a far
season of flowers

when, for love, I crept to the edge of a roof to reach
a petal-decked branch.

It snapped, I
dropped, screaming down sky

and flowering. My father yelled
my name, ran out to find me sprawled,

dazed, gripping his crushed gift, thrust
at him in my bloody fist.

He plunges below us now, as we
fall soundless toward him, our bodies

crowded on your narrow bed,
my arm and leg gone numb, your torso wedged

between the wall and me.
You sleep uncomfortably,

though comforted by my
presence, for which you cry

some nights, and which you, such nights, endure.
Where did you, so young, learn

such sacrifice? Now
I no longer hear the apples fall. But how

they go! Incessantly, though
with no noise, no

blunt announcements of their gravity.
See!

There is no bottom to the night, no end
to our descent.

We suffer each other to have each other a while.

***
beanside: (Default)
[personal profile] beanside
Happy Friday! One more day of talking and then I can take a break. Saturday I'm on Admin work, so I won't have to talk at all! I'm a little nervous, since it's my first time on Admin duty. It's basically scanning all the orders that come in so that we start fresh on Monday. Nothing horrible, since we don't get a ton of orders on the weekend.

Today though, we shall talk. A lot, probably. It's been that kind of week. Hopefully the coffee/Vyvanse kicks in, because I am very sleepy this morning. I woke up at 4:45 to go to the bathroom, and I should just have gotten up then. I was thinking that I wouldn't fall back asleep, but of course I did, and now I feel woofled.

Tomorrow, we have two games, one at 2pm and one at 7pm. I've got a bit of prep work to do for the early game, so I'll do that tomorrow morning so it'll be fresh. I just need to look at backstories and see how it can tie into the campaign material properly.

On Sunday I'm going out with my friend from 911. We try to get together every few months to catch up. We're debating on where we're going out to. Somewhere tasty, but not too expensive. Fortunately, the Baltimore area is rife with those types of restaurants.

Hm, I have a bit of a headache this morning. Nothing horrible, but annoying, and my sister just got up to talk at me.

The dog continues to be a holy terror. I really don't know what's going on. We are not allowed to sit in the living room together. I'm thinking the only solution might be to lock him in the bedroom after his evening walk so we can relax for a little while. Otherwise, he'll sit in front of my sister or Jess and just bark.

I can handle it during the day when the Vyvanse is active, but when it craps out around five, it just shreds my nerves. And then I get angry and it does nothing, because the dog is dumb as hell. I'm not thinking that locking him up is punative, just something to spare our nerves.

We'll see! And on that note, I am going to go forth and get myself together. Everyone have an excellent Friday!

or framed in silver haunts every room

Apr. 10th, 2025 05:15 pm
musesfool: a loaf of bread (staff of life)
[personal profile] musesfool
I spent all of yesterday thinking it was Thursday and was mighty disappointed when it wasn't, which means I also forgot to do a Wednesday reading post, so here we go:

What I've just finished
A Drop of Corruption by Robert Jackson Bennett, which absolutely lives up to the first book and which I enjoyed tremendously, though I wish I had not been eating when I read parts of it, because the body horror is real and it is regular. I can't wait to see where Din and Ana go next!

Finlay Donovan Is Killing It, which is a breezy story about a writer who gets mistaken for a contract killer and ends up involved in some shenanigans of the criminal sort. It's a fun, fast read you shouldn't think about too hard.

What I'm reading now
Finlay Donovan Knocks 'Em Dead, which is the first sequel to the above, and so far it is more of the same, though spoiler ) I definitely want to know more about Vero and her cousin Ramon, so I hope that comes up in this one.

What I'm reading next
Again, I have spent so long in a book-reading drought these last 5 years that I'm just happy to be here again, so I cannot say.

And now, today's poem:

The afterlife of fame
By David Trinidad

                     is dark
a neglected mansion

with vanishing court
rats in the empty pool

and antiquated actress
languishing

as ghost of her famous self
flickers in the projector's beam

or framed in silver
haunts every room

Face unrecognizable?
Name forgotten?


O float me to Oblivion
in my swan bed

with my bandaged wrists
and doors shorn of locks

with swirl of my cigarette smoke
and glitter of my jewels

and silent flutter
of my weightless tulle

***

In other news, I baked some bread (I started it at the end of my lunch hour at around 3 pm) and I am waiting for it to be cool enough to eat - it smells so good I want it now!

***
beanside: (Default)
[personal profile] beanside
Two more days to the workweek, and then I'll be on half a day on Saturday. Then, two games Saturday, which should be fun. I'll be a tired puppy on Sunday, though!

Yesterday was pretty bog standard. I worked, I cooked dinner, I fucked around for a bit, and then I went to bed. My only deviation was making the ricotta cheesecake. It was very tasty, though a bit grainy. I've looked up some solutions, so I'll definitely try draining it and cooking at a slightly lower temp, just to see if that helps. I also think I'm going to add a little lemon zest and juice and a little bit of cinnamon. I think with the ricotta, it's going to have a certain amount of grain, but we'll see if we can minimize it.

I was up a little late last night. Jess had a game, and I couldn't settle my brain down. I kept thinking of things I needed to do. But on the plus side, all the bills are paid, and I have a little bit left over! Which is very nice. I'm not getting groceries this week, because I overbought last week. Still have 12 days worth of food, mostly chicken. Tonight, I'm thinking about keeping it simple. Lemon chicken with rice. I will need to put in a small order to get some sort of meat for Sunday breakfast, but I'm debating on what to get. I was thinking about Canadian bacon, but we'll see. I'm trying to hold to the Walmart boycott until the 11th, which for me means no Sam's club. I'd make egg mc muffins, but we don't have a toaster for the English Muffins.

I'm still undecided about running a game on Friday. On one hand, early sleeps. On the other, fun. I should probably make my mind up today, whatever I decide to do.

Okay, I'm going to get myself together for work. Everyone have an awesome Thursday!
musesfool: crews and reese (i don't mind the sun sometimes)
[personal profile] musesfool
So the dentist prescribed extra special toothpaste for sensitive teeth, but they didn't have any at the office. They sent the prescription to a CVS on Queens Blvd, but not the one closest to me, and the pharmacy texted me to let me know the prescription was not covered by my insurance, did I still want it? I called and said, how much is it? And it turned out to be $30 without insurance so I said, yes. And then they told me they didn't have it in stock, to come today to pick it up.

So after a long afternoon of meetings, I ordered a Lyft to take me to this pharmacy somewhere on Queens Blvd, and when I got there, they told me they didn't have it. But, said the cashier, I see that they told you to come today, so please step down to that window to speak with the pharmacist. So I stepped down to the window and the pharmacist said, we don't have this brand, maybe there's one left at the CVS in Bayside? And I was like, I'm not going to Bayside for toothpaste, so she called the dentist's office and asked if the generic brand they had on hand - which apparently has the same exact ingredients - would suffice, and I guess they told her yes, because she sent me back to wait in the pick-up area for my name to be called. Which it was eventually, and I got my generic brand prescription toothpaste and it only cost $10 so I guess insurance covered the generic version at least. *hands*

After all that, I really hope it helps.

***

Here's today's poem:

All I Have To Say For Myself
by Mindy Nettifee

The last time you came to see me
there were anchors in your eyes,
hardback books in your posture.
You were the five star general of sureness,
a crisp white tuxedo of a man.

I was fiddling with my worn coat pockets,
puffing false confidence ghosts in the cold January air.
My hands were shitty champagne flutes
brimming with cheap merlot.
I couldn't touch you without ruining you,
so I didn't touch you at all.

It's when you're on the brink of something
that you lose your balance.
You told me that once.
When I can't bring myself to say what I need to,
my heart plays Russian Roulette with my throat.
I swear I fired that night, but, nothing.

Someday, I'll show you the bullet I had for you,
after time has done the wash.
I'll take it out of the jar of missed opportunities.
We'll hold it up to the light.
You'll roll it around your mouth like a fallen tooth.
You won't forgive me exactly,
but we'll laugh about how small it is.
We'll wonder how such a little thing
could ever have meant so much.

***